This audio recording documents an actual call made to the UK's 999 emergency number.
If there's one thing we love more than pointless emergency calls, it's pointless emergency calls that feature entertaining accents. And this one is the full package.
It all started when an ornery, ill-tempered man from Northern England found out his girlfriend had let the cat eat his bacon. He saw only one option — contacting the authorities. What followed was the grumbliest, funniest emergency call we've ever heard, made all the better because you don't root for the guy at all. The cat should eat all his bacon forever.
In the end, the funniest part is how easily he gives up. He just concedes defeat with a resigned tone in his voice the second the irritated operator tells him there's been no crime. I guess he just needed someone to vent to, and he didn't have anyone else. The only two people he trusted were his girlfriend and the cat, and they'd just betrayed him.