Megan Bratten, whose car was thiiiiiiiis big. (screengrabs via KCTV5)
Megan Bratten uses her van for work, so it was pretty upsetting when this single mother of five kids from Independence, Missouri found it stolen when she walked outside of a local Kmart. "An older gentleman was like, 'Are you OK?' and I said 'No, I think my car just got stolen," Bratten told a reporter from KCTV5, "then I remembered that the phone was in there and I thought, 'Let me text them a message' and I did."
Knowing the thieves would be able to see the cell phone in the van, Bratten began texting—in a very non-heartwarming manner, at first: "I used some pretty explicit words and I said, 'Hey, you just stole a single mother of five's work van. You are ruining my life here."
Park it like it's hot. Because it is. It is a hot car. You stole it.