The next night he broke into an Atomic Wings and made himself a large with pepperoni.

There comes a point in everyone's life when you ask yourself if you're hungry enough to throw it all away just to get a burger in your body. Maybe the delciiously immediate promise of fast-food culture makes us behave differently than we normally would. Or maybe the criminal element is just something we naturally suppress, until we come in proximity of some low-priced meal options and lose control. We can't read the minds of these fast-food related perpetrators, but we can say they're some of the most ridiculous crimes we've ever had the pleasure to read about.



The Hamburglar is real and he lives in the woods! He also hangs out at Arby's sometimes.


We once bought a Zune at a Burger King and when it turned out to be a block of wood we were so relieved.


"He did it gradually." This was the most sensal man who ever stepped foot in a Bojangles.


Did she at least score the cops some nachos?


Always eat your evidence!


This is the part of the post where we go from amused to ashamed.


And now we go from ashamed to feeling really dirty inside.


Those BB gun pellets probably cost more than the extra nickel.


We've done worse things for our McDesserts, and we'd do it again dammit!