We also have trouble getting our FB groove on when someone's watching. It's called Facebook Shyness and it's a real problem.

Now we don't feel so bad when we dial 911 from a bar and say, "Hello, police? Some beautiful girl just stole my heart." We do feel bad for getting all those girls arrested though. You might judge these people as crybabies or Chicken Littles who think that the whole world is supposed to drop everything whenever they pick up a phone, and you'd be correct. But dammit, why do we pay taxes if not to get the fire department to climb up on our roof and check on the satelite dish when our picture goes out?



For many women, getting a man in uniform into your bed counts as an "emergency."


To be fair, we once called Applecare to report a possible burglary.


"You Can Have It Your Way" is nine tenths of the law.


Okay we're on her side on this one. That hurts more than a gunshot.


They wouldn't have had a case if he had just started every question with, "Hypothetically speaking..."