We've diagrammed all the players in this dust-up on a dry-erase board and we're still not sure who did what to whom. The sippy cup runneth over with the blood of the innocent. Hopefully this will illuminate the real cause of violent crime in this country: babies misplacing their drinkware. Drop the charges against every adult involved, invent a new level of jail called "Pre-Juvie," lock up the baby and throw away the key.

Sources: WHIO TV