My sticky pony.
(via The Smoking Gun)
Normally, Happy Place would never think to publish a photo of a sexual assault victim. However, when the victim happens to be a stuffed horse toy, and the culprit is the man to beat for the title of 2014 Masturbator Of The Year, all bets are off.
The horse became famous yesterday after the story broke that a 19-year-old walked into a Florida Walmart and jerked off on the toy's chest. That teen, Sean Johnson, has been charged with indecent exposure and criminal mischief. He's also been sentenced to a lifetime of being the first name to pop up in a Google search for "Walmart+horse+semen."
Not cool, Brony.
Why would the police release a photo of the jizz-stained horse to the media? Great question. Could be to let Florida residents in the market for a stuffed horse toy know they should be on the lookout for semen stains. Other than that, I don't see what purpose it serves. You may also be wondering why Happy Place would bother to even post something this disgusting. Well, I'd love to know what kind of person would click on a story like this. So we're even!
(by Jonathan Corbett)