1. Halle Berry and her psychotic hubs.
French lunatic and Halle Berry marry-er Olivier Martinez was caught on tape pushing an airport employee who was likely trying to grab a pic of Berry, Martinez and their kids as they exited the Tom Bradley International Terminal at LAX Sunday afternoon. This makes the second LAX assault for Martinez, and pales in comparison to the 2012 incident with Berry's ex when Martinez beat the shit out of him. I get it, I want my guy to protect me, too, but not one who whacks dudes with your baby stroller. Get a new man, Halle, and if Martinez isn't locked up, get one that can take a punch.
2. This woman and her police chief husband who shot her in her sleep.
Dead asleep. (via CBS)
Peachtree City Police Chief William McCollom shot his wife, Margaret McCollom, on New Year's Day while she was asleep. According to ABC News, Chief Willy told 911 that "the gun was in the bed, I went to move it to put it to the side and it went off." Cool police skills, bro. Margaret, who is still in the hospital and who has no information to provide because she was asleep dreaming of the perfect marriage, claims she believes the shooting was accidental. Margaret, listen to me: either your husband was trying to accidentally kill you, or he is completely incompetent at his job. Either way, major turn off.