Not sure if you heard the news, but Facebook was down today. Inaccessible, a mirage. A void where once there was connection. People took it...well.
Is Facebook down?? What if someone from high school got fat and I don't know about it??— mah ree nah (@marinarachael) August 1, 2014
Facebook has been down for 15 minutes and I'm freaking out because I don't know if anyone is having babies, eating food, eating babies, etc.— Schindizzle (@Schindizzle) August 1, 2014
Just a heads up, Facebook is down so expect a call any minute from your weird aunt.— Drew Schnoebelen (@Dschnoeb) August 1, 2014
The media did what they could to address concerns...
Some people imagined the worst...
THE YEAR IS 2016. FACEBOOK DOWN FOR TWO YEARS NOW. AMERICA'S NEW MOMS ROAM THE STREETS. IS MY BABY PRETTY? THEY SAY. PLEASE LIKE MY BABY.— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) August 1, 2014
#facebookdown This $600 smartphone is now worthless.— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) August 1, 2014
My Facebook is still down & I'm getting a really odd error message. pic.twitter.com/SloFeLT0ES— Jason Gore (@sonicdork) August 1, 2014
Others looked to the bright side...
Yesterday on a whim I bought shares of stock in "tweets about Facebook being down" and now I'm rich!— John Frusciante (@JohnJFrusciante) August 1, 2014
If Facebook stays down, the internet is better... Right?— Kevin Hines (@kevhines) August 1, 2014
Tip: If you are listed as “Married” or “In a Relationship” on Facebook, you can commit as much adultery as you want while the site is down— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) August 1, 2014
There were suspicions of foul play...
Facebook message: "Facebook is currently down as we install a massive surveillance program designed with the NSA. Thanks for your patience."— DJ Gallo (@thatdjgallo) August 1, 2014
But in our darkest hour, hope prevailed...
Facebook is down. We will rebuild. #facebookdown— Andrea Barber (@andreabarber) August 1, 2014
To get back up to speed on the kind of stuff the world missed during this brief interruption, check out 17 stupid people on Facebook who will never, ever learn.
(Other people's tweets gathered by Bob Powers)