If you fail a basic test of manhood, you're supposed to destroy all evidence that it happened.

I live in New York City, where pigeons are so abundant, they're a minor annoyance like deer in New Jersey or hearing those One Direction fellas on the radio.

If I had to really say where pigeons landed on the list of things I'm afraid of, I'd put them at number 346. Right between squirrels and a Q-tip hurting me somehow.

That said, there are days when I'm not paying attention, and I walk straight into a flight of pigeons, I might (only for a second) duck out of the way while my face (involuntarily) shows some semblance of fear. When that happens, I look around to see if anyone saw me and immediately stab them. No one will know my shame!

This man, however, took it upon himself to not only dance around with a protective towel and shriek like he's a child in a haunted house, but to film it and let everyone in the world see that a tiny confused bird scared him so much he needed a moment to catch his breath once it left.


What has the world come to when a man is proud of his unmanliness? What hope is there for future generations if they are entertained by this man's ineptitude? It's time to be the change. I'm off now to go film myself fighting a bear.

Sources: Tastefully Offensive