Well, now that that's out of my system, let me state that in a calmer tone. Mohammed Islam, the 17-year-old Stuyvesant High School senior who claimed to have made a fortune in the high eight-figures on the stock market, completely fabricated every single part of the story he told New York magazine, Business Insider, and, by proxy, me.

The story went, in short, that there was this whiz-kid son of immigrants from Queens who obsessively studied great investors, and went on to make $72 million by trading oil and gold futures at lunch. Furthermore, he was now supposed to be partnering with two other rich kids who dine on "apple juice and caviar," and was just waiting to turn 18 so that investors could shower him with hundreds of millions of dollars to start his own hedge fund. Basically, it was perfectly designed to blow your mind.

The story slowly unravelled throughout the evening yesterday, as at first people called BS on the idea that he made $72 million from trades. The average gain in a good year of the stock market for successful investors is about 8%, and for him to have made that from a small amount of starting money would be mind-boggling. At first, it appeared as if the story was just poorly reported, because New York insisted that Islam had still shown them bank statements proving he had a net worth in the "high eight figures," and Mohammed said he had only made a fraction of that from trading. This was a far more believable story, since making a few million dollars when you have tens of millions to invest is much more feasible. For a second, it seemed like the mystery had been solved.

Sources: New York Observer | CBS | NY Mag