It didn't go over well.

Update 12/3/13: Elan Gale admits his "Diane In 7A" story was a hoax.

Previously: We see them at every gate. Those people. The ones who've decided that they are the only passengers that matter, that everyone else on the plane must just be flying for kicks, but they actually have someplace to be. Yesterday, Elan Gale, a producer of ABC's The Bachelor, was waiting for his flight to board and he spotted one such woman. So he took to his Twitter feed to document the woman's airport insolence, and once they got in the air, he decided to respond.

It started at the gate.

At this point, she's already annoying, but we all lose our senses occasionally when talking to representatives of a large, faceless corporation.

Unless you're starring in a Home Alone sequel, your case is not special.

Oh, damn. We just departed Un-Self-Aware International on a non-stop flight to Nope, Just An A-Hole Memorial Airport.

See, this kind of attitude requires at least bribery. It's still awful but it's not just "do this for me because I think I am great."

Really adopting the spirit of the Native Americans helping the Pilgrims despite being strangers.

Loud breathing on an airplane may be the most unforgivable part of this so far.

Now this is where the tale is goes from mere anecdote to a full-on Story. 

I've never sent a lady a drink, let alone a drink with fightin' words attached. He is a producer for The Bachelor, though, so maybe this kind of drama is his specialty.

That flight attendant may or may not be allowed to do stuff like this. Will he cooperate?

He's going to do it.

I'm nervous.

Really? Teeth breathing? Is she a middle school nerd who had her Magic cards knocked down?

Comparing planes to roller coasters just makes me nervous.

Yeah, she doesn't seem like the "realizing she's been a jerk all day" type.

What will this mean?

How about a little color commentary for the folks at home?

Maybe she's considerately trying to keep you from catching whatever is wrong with her.

This would be a great way to generate fees.

And as you tweet.

It's probably just a matter of time until this next bit is illegal:

So. Nervous. Need. Barf bag.

"I hate you. Love, Elan"

Primate intimidation tactic.

Ah yes, the Dept. of Bad Words.

I'm sure this will end smoothly.


Keep going.

I hope so. That was the point of this story, right?



Elan seems to have deleted these next three tweets, which we screencapped from BuzzFeed:

Maybe deleting those was wise, but I like them even if he got into the gutter with her.

He's still going out on a sweet note though. He must come from a nice family.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

(by Bob Powers and Johnny McNulty)

Sources: Elan Gale on Twitter | BuzzFeed