"Go ahead and have a seat, girl. Just make sure to hose me down after."
These delightful items from FaceChairs.com are very cute but not very practical for company. If you have a Ryan Gosling chair in your house, none of your guests will ever sit on it because everyone knows that as soon as you're alone you're ripping off your pants and underwear and grinding the cushion with perverted abandon. You're basically asking people to sit on your sex toy. We don't want to get that on our pants. By all means, buy one of these celebrity Face Chairs for yourself. Just keep it in the bedroom, okay?
"When I'm not supporting the people of New Orleans with new homes I'm happy to provide support for your genitals with my nose."
"Modern Family has vaulted me into superstardom, as evidenced by people like you rubbing your anus against my teeth."