This is why we can't have terrifying things. (via FB)
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, and, as predicted by the prophet Mother Goose, fell off and smashed into bits.
Apparently, some dudes were trying to take a selfie with Mr. Dumpty at a theme park when the whole wall came down. Perhaps if selfies had been a thing during Reagan's administration, he might have had some friendlier words for Mr. Gorbachev.
Officials have stated that HD cannot be repaired. Yes, someone on Facebook did say they would call all the king's horses and all the king's men, but of course no one came because this occurred in the Enchanted Forrest theme park of Salem, Oregon, which is a democracy now. None of the popularly elected Ore. representatives attempted to reassemble Humpty, let alone commented on the tragedy. Thanks, Obama.
Personally, I think leaving the broken egg man all over the ground delivers a better interpretation of the nursery rhyme, and isn't even that much scarier than a giant anthropomorphized egg to begin with.