I bet this wasn't what he was hoping for. You never know, though. People are weird. (via)
Lian Tien, 61, of Quanzhou City in Fujian Province, China, says "I was painting the wall in the nude" in his apartment on a really warm day. All that heat and paint and sweat made for a terrible combination, because "I slipped on the floor, causing my private parts to fall inside the pipe that was protruding from the wall to take water outside from my air conditioning unit. Unfortunately, I got stuck as a result."
It's also unfortunate that he didn't leave his air conditioner hooked up to all the correct pipes, or else maybe he wouldn't have been so hot that he needed to paint naked, or at least there wouldn't have been that open pipe just looking to snag any passing genitals.
As you can tell by his home painting activities, Mr. Tien is a handyman of sorts, and attempted to fix the problem himself. He removed the pipe from the wall, "and tried pouring oil and liquid soap down the sides, but my manhood was so tightly wedged that nothing dripped down." In English, this is what we call a humblebrag.