Schoolhouse rocked.

(screengrab via

Ah, state representatives. They are some of the citizens most actively engaged with our political system—the people on the ground, making laws—so why are they always doing and saying stupid shit?

A class of fourth graders from Lincoln Akerman School in Hampton Falls, New Hampshire, wanted to learn about the process of a bill becoming a law. Instead of simply watching Schoolhouse Rock, they decided to draft a bill of their own—to make the Red Tailed Hawk the New Hampshire State Raptor—and then they went to Concord to see state representatives debate its merits.


Yes, that's right. The students and their teacher were at the State House when Rep. Warren Groen took the podium to complain about their choice of raptor:

"It grasps them with its talons then uses its razor sharp beak to basically tear it apart limb by limb, and I guess the shame about making this a state bird is it would serve as a much better mascot for Planned Parenthood."

(screengrab via

Whoa there, buddy. It's okay for voters to be one-issue voters, but it's not okay to be a one-issue legislator. There's really no need to shove abortion into a debate about state birds. Especially when a bunch of nine-years-olds are listening.

Millions of women rely on the Red Tailed Hawk for affordable reproductive services. (via Wikipedia/Allison Miller)

Surely someone would have something nice to say? If you guessed, "of course not," you're probably as hardened as these fourth graders now are. You're also correct. Next up, Rep. John Burt:

"Bottom line, if we keep bringing more of these bills, and bills, and bills forward that really I think we shouldn't have in front of us, we'll be picking a state hot dog next."

Jesus. The bill was rejected with a vote of 133 to 160.

At this point, I imagine most of the kids were in tears. All they wanted to do is learn about the political process and instead they discovered their elected officials are a bunch of lazy a-holes who don't give a crap about their constituents.

Oh right. Good work, teach!