New York really is where dreams come true.

"I coulda been a nobody." - anonymous. (via redditor hollidette)

This life-affirming piece of prose was excerpted from today's New York Times, which apparently sent a reporter out to review the bathrooms at New York's (in)famous Port Authority Bus Terminal. This may be the shortest distance the Times has ever traveled for an investigative report, since their brand-new skyscraper is literally across the street from the transit hub/biohazard. The article was ostensibly checking to see if the station's notoriously filthy commodes had improved since HBO's Last Week Tonight with John Oliver aired a highly-shared segment on the bathrooms, which they called "the single worst place on Planet Earth."

All of which is just window dressing on what's really important here: some presumably normal person living out their dream to become an anonymous source. Not just an anonymous source, I might add, but an anonymous source for the Paper of Record in America.


I didn't read the whole article, of course, because I'm a New Yorker and I don't care if Maureen Dowd writes a whole column about eating weed brownies and passing out in a Four Seasons suite only to wake up and discover she was in the newly-pristine Port Authority bathrooms all along; I'm never going to pee there. I'll pee somewhere classier, like on the wall outside.

Sources: redditor hollidette