Yeezus wept. Well, he pouted anyway. (Screencap via SaturdayNightOnline)

Everyone in show business, stop calling yourselves soldiers, okay? 

Tom Cruise compared himself being on a movie set to being deployed in Afghanistan, and he got smacked down by Mark Wahlberg (he's the only one in Hollywood who's as short as Cruise so everyone agreed it was a fair fight). 

And last week in an interview with SaturdayNightOnline, Kanye included among his usual litany of self-praise a comparison between himself and police officers and soldiers.

"I'm just giving of my body on the stage and putting my life at risk, literally. That mountain goes really, really high. And if I slipped … You never know. And I think about it. I think about my family and I'm like ‘Wow, this is like being a police officer or something, in war or something." 

Literally? By "literally," do you mean "figuratively?" Like, the opposite of "literally?"

Now Kanye West is being given a talking-to for his over-estimation of himself, and he doesn't even get the common courtesy of being scolded by a fellow celebrity, though Brimfield, OH police chief David Oliver is at least very popular on Facebook (not to mention being author of the book No Mopes Allowed). Last night, Oliver took to his department's Facebook page with an open letter to reassure Kanye that what he does is actually pretty safe and he shouldn't be so worried for his life. 

"I’m letting you know, just so you do not think I agree with your very ignorant assessment of your career (or any other performer)as it relates to a person in the military or a police officer’s service. You sir, are as misguided as they come," Oliver wrote in his Facebook letter. "Your line of thinking is part of the problem in the world today….which include entertainers thinking they are something more than just entertainers.

The letter also includes a request that Kanye join the military and be deployed in the belief that Taliban fighters would " just drop weapons and surrender" when Kanye starts rapping for them. 

On the whole, the letter is a reminder that celebrities need to express only one thing about soldiers to avoid getting in trouble. "I support our troops." Or, "I'm doing this for our troops overseas." Or any of the boilerplate slogans we've been hearing during the past decade of war. Did they all forget somehow?

Full letter below:

(by Bob Powers)

Sources: ABC News