Our first question would be "Where is the rest of Team Zissou?"
(image via Steve Lambert)

Feeling sorry for yourself because you don't have any plans for the weekend yet? Get that entry-level self-pity out of here, amateur, and leave the real loneliness to these professionals. Please. It's all they have.


Reflection of shame.


He'd gladly trade his Fourth Meal for four friends.


Suddenly, he found himself missing Fat Betty.


At least he knows he's getting a handjob later.


"I wish I could, Nike. I wish I could."


"I like her because she smells like my tears."


The only number in her phone is the producer of Hoarders.


"I was just wondering if anyone wanted to split a trough of Ben and Jerry's... No? OK good, I already finished it."


Come on, kid. Stand up for yourself.



You know what? We'd be friends with this guy.

Sources: Steve Lambert | Reddit