"AND SCREW THESE FAKE PLANTS TOO, WHY NOT?"
Recently, at a Redding, California In-N-Out Burger, a man who had not purchased anything came to the store and started holding the door for people. What he said to them while holding it is unclear. In many places it is common to do this to beg for tips. On the other hand, the man might have been carrying a Bible under his arm, which means he might have been doing some light proselytizing as people entered and left the fast food restaurant. It's unlikely that being Christian would be the main problem, especially since In-N-Out Burger prints Bible citations like "John 3:16" on their napkins, burger wrappers and cups. What we do know is this: eventually, employees told him that if he did not buy something, he would have to leave. What happened next quickly encouraged everyone else in the building to move as far away as possible.
He's an eff-ing Christian, okay? And he is going to stand up for eff-ing Christians. In conclusion, eff this country, and eff the po-lice, unless he gets a free meal. Amen. He's just like Jesus in the temple of the moneychangers—if no one had any idea what Jesus was talking about and Jesus had a possibly low-blood-sugar-induced anger problem.
(by Johnny McNulty)