The US Treasury is looking for a woman to put on the new $10 bill. Here are a few women they should not consider.
1. Miley Cyrus
Easily the worst choice. I mean, you can pick any female leader in history. Don't pick the girl who sang "Wrecking Ball" or it will send one smashing through our economy as everyone tries to avoid using this bill.
2. Aileen Wuornos
Aileen Wuornos is that famous serial killer portrayed in the movie Monster. She killed a bunch of truckers. Still not a worse choice than Miley, so she's #2.
3. Ann Coulter's Neck
Ann Coulter herself would be a divisive choice, but her neck is far weirder and scarier than anything that's come out of her mouth. Avoid choosing this one, if possible.
4. Lauren Graham and both her TV daughters
I love Parenthood and Gilmore Girls equally, and although these three women exemplify the warmheartedness of the American family today, putting their visage on money just cheapens my good feelings toward them. I won't allow it.
5. Skyler White
Ugh. I mean, get out of the way, lady! If you love money and using it to provide for your family the way Walter White did, then you must dismiss this choice.
6. Your Ex-girlfriend
You're already thinking about her every day. Now, every time you go to buy another pint of Ben & Jerry's alone, you'll have to buy a few at once, so you don't break a twenty and have to see her face again.