Next time, bring an accomplice or your home health aide.  (file photo)

When this guy was younger, he was probably a really badass thief, but it seems now he's ready for an early retirement. A 64-year-old Australian man attempted to hijack a 22-year-old woman's car in a parking lot in broad daylight over the weekend. It wasn't the broad daylight part that got him, though. The dude spent so much time trying to shove his walker and various shopping bags into the car that the woman had plenty time to call police, who easily caught up with him, because, well, he drove like an old man. The constable on the case said it was "the most bizarre incident" he had ever seen, and this being Australia, that says a lot.


Anyway, who steals things in real life anymore? If this guy was a bit younger, he'd know about Internet thievery, which you can do from the comfort of your wheelchair, but he probably can't even turn on his computer. There's got to be a training center for older thieves trying to break into online theft somewhere in Queensland, right?

Sources: Geelong Advertiser | Opposing Views