Winning an Oscar is a momentous achievement in anyone's life. But after you're nominated, wait for the presenter's dramatic pause, win, deliver your acceptance speech, and drink all night in fancy clothes with other famous people, what do you do with the statue?
Here's what last night's Oscar winners will be doing with that now-pretty-useless, gilded trophy:
J.K. Simmons, Best Supporting Actor: Using it as an example of something you'd want to insure in a Farmer's commercial.
Patricia Arquette, Best Supporting Actress: Putting a dress on it and pretending that gender equality exists.
Common, Best Song: Making contestants use it in a challenge on his furniture building competition reality show, Framework (yeah, it's a real thing).