You wouldn't like me when I'm hungry.
A Connecticut woman called the cops on her boyfriend after he "passive aggressively" stabbed a watermelon.
Apparently, Carmine Cervellino was angered after the woman took pictures of drugs she found in his toolbox and showed them to the cops. Talk about passive-aggressive, she could have said something to him first.
Then again, he might not be so easy to talk to. When she returned home she found a watermelon sitting on the kitchen countertop with a large knife stabbed into it. That's when Cervillino walked in and wordlessly began slicing the watermelon. You know, the old "I'm going to do to you what I'm doing to this watermelon" trick. This melon threat is infinitely more pleasant if the man is eating it.
The woman took a picture of the watermelon and knife and took it to the police. According to the Register, Thomason officer Keith Koval wrote in a report that, "the woman said she felt Cervellino was resorting to 'passive aggressive' tactics to 'intimidate her because he is angry at her.'
Cervillno was taken in by the cops but is now out on $500 bond, and his case has been referred to Family Services.