A "missed you" note is more customary.
In defense of this UPS delivery guy who destroyed a customer's package by throwing it over a gate on to the cement below before whipping out his schlong and taking a wizz on the side of the customer's house, he probably had to go to the bathroom and didn't care very much about his job.
So, you know, you gotta look at both sides of the story:
The good news is that this guy was fired.
Which means there's an experienced delivery associate in the Houston area just waiting to get snatched up by some lucky company.