With Americans unwilling to do the dirty work, Trump is trying to outsource the job of inauguration performer to foreign nationals, but to no avail.
The Wrap reports that Canadian queen Celine Dion has turned down an offer to perform at what is supposed to be a celebration, and her heart will go on. Us Weekly adds that Italy's Andrea Bocelli met with Trump and agreed to perform, but bowed out after his fans were like, "Really?"
Last month, after a very nonsensical rumor that England's Elton John would perform for the festivities that also celebrate professional homophobe Mike Pence, his spokesperson released a statement.
“Incorrect. He will NOT be performing,” the publicist wrote, using CAPS LOCK to emphasize the "HELL NO!"
Apprentice producer Mark Burnett is overseeing the entertainment aspects of the inauguration festivities, and brought on talent recruiter Suzanne Bender as a Hail Mary to try and get stars on board.
But Hollywood is effectively freezing Trump out, not wanting to be associated with his racism, sexism, and general sleeziness.
The only confirmed performer so far is 16-year-old Jackie Evancho, who much like the President-elect, comes from the world of reality TV having competed on America's Got Talent.
If you're looking for entertainment at the Trump inaugeration January 20th, you can always rewatch Beyoncé, Stevie Wonder, Alicia Keys, and everyone else you like at President Obama's two inaugurations.