He hasn't been this inconsolable since he found out his dead dad only left him $35 million.
A moment of silence for our "celebrity" conservatives. Their sanity was already as fragile as whatever remains of their fame, but last night things went downhill fast. Victoria Jackson (former actress, current right wing super-sized toddler), Ted Nugent (former musician, current guy who blows up his own backyard), and Donald Trump (former failed real estate mogul, current animatronic Halloween decoration someone forgot to take down), sadly possess the kind of challenged intellect that would interpret a free and unchallenged democratic election as a sign that America has perished. As these snapshots show, their twitter feeds turned wonderfully psychotic last night, but they're sure to only get more enjoyable once they learn of Obama's second term Initiative to round up all dissenters and reeducate them before they are put to work boxing up American currency for U.N. airlift to Syria, Palestine, and, of course, Kenya.
Cogent analysis of the electorate from the esteemed writer of "Yank Me, Crank Me," "Wango Tango," and other public bathroom stall inspired lyrics.
Be strong. Your season of SNL left us pretty down in the dumps too but we soldiered on!