So let's give a big round of applause for clean socks and quiet women, right everyone?
Governor of Ohio and Gary-Shandling-lookalike John Kasich would just like to take a moment to thank his wife Karen for not being here today. He's also like to thank Jan Portman (wife of Senator Rob (R-OH)) and Jana Ryan (wife of Congressman Paul (R-MN)) for all the work they do to stay out of the spotlight. Because after all, behind every great man is a woman pretending to support the stifling patriarchy that man's party is determined to protect at all costs. It's puzzling how this man has such poor relations with the vagina-having portion of the population, since he's clearly a douche.