Now here's a deal that will make this election interesting. The latest Gallup polls have Romney leading by 17 percent among "sad old guys who tell their favorite stripper things they've never told their wives," while Obama maintains a strong lead among "day-laborers huddled in the corner, silently staring at the stage." Sounds like the tie-breaking vote will either fall to "bachelor party pretending to have more fun than they actually are," or that old electoral mainstay, "nervous high-school kids with fake IDs."

Sources: CollegeHumor