We are casting our vote for this being the most insufferable and excruciating election we've ever experienced. This was like the Transformers of elections, except instead of spending disgusting amounts of money on explosions, we got a ceaseless barrage of crappy attack ads, and we never even got to see Romney turn back into a car. The only suspenseful moment was when we were all wondering if Obama was going to stay awake long enough to try and win a second term, and, of course, whether Joe Biden would say something unaplogetically offensive (at least he delivered).
Therefore, in lieu of supporting either candidate's performance during this campaign, we officially endorse the end of this election, and we make our endorsement based on five issues we feel are very important to the exhausted electorate as a whole:
Issue #1: The end of our emotions being controlled entirely by polls we could never possibly understand.
Is it a polling result, a heart rate monitor, or a crappy drawing of a really long slug?