We've learned a lot of new things about our 16th president this year. First it was that he had a secret career slaying vampires, and now it's that he wasn't assassinated by a washed-up, Latin-spewing actor, but by a suave British secret agent — who was no doubt sent by MI6 as belated revenge for the Revolutionary War. Poor Abe. At least he didn't live to see James Bond getting it on with Mary Todd Lincoln.

Sources: Pop Culture Brain