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Luxury retailer Barneys is offering a fantastic deal on these shoes that look like they were stolen from an undocumented laborer during his 10-minute lunch break from painting the inside of a penthouse apartment belonging to someone who shops at Barneys. Only $525, and you don't even have to spend your life clawing your way up from nothing just to live paycheck-to-paycheck, never knowing if you'll be able to put food on the table! Fair warning, though: If you wear these in public, anyone who makes less than $75,000 a year is legally required to kick you in the shin.

Sources: Andy Richter