Must have been an amazing movie. (via)

Life is pretty simple when you're a kid, but even kids sometimes need to make to do lists to keep track of all the nothing they're doing. Whether it's playing, eating, or simply pooping, kids know the satisfaction that comes with writing something down, doing it, and then crossing it off. Now take a look at your own pathetic list of things to get done: make wedding album, go to DMV, call elderly aunt. Seems like it might be a good idea to add "play" to it, doesn't it? Or at the very least "poop." You have to take care of yourself.



That is also the entirety of my to-do list. (via)


Yes, those sneaky rocks run away if they see you spying on them. (via)


Not sure I want to know what cock chalk is. (via)


#10 Get better at follow-through! (via)


It worries me that "Pee off big shit" was completed. (via)


Yell, write, eat, poop, sleep: this is the very stuff of life. (via)


Oh no! Dad hates being wanked up first thing in the morning. (via)


Smart not to actually break anyone's bones. Less liability. (via)


If you do all of these things, you will truly have achieved #32. (via)


Sing a tune or song—but never both! (via)


Best. Day. Ever. (via)


Don't let on that you're excited Grandma's there. Be cool. (via)

Sources: redditor spookypen | redditor mcostanzo | redditor social_workin | redditor sights_and_sounds | redditor hedgehog15 | redditor whomewhy | redditor Johnny_Suede | redditor StarVixen | Rockabilly-Fella | redditor Unicornsshitglitter | redditor fluffypotatoes | redditor GPilla | redditor PenetratedCheeks | redditor houndofbaskerville | redditor mattschonert | redditor ssalcdlrow | redditor unchained_butterfly | redditor scott65785