There, there, tell Flannelly O'Cotton all about it.
We all have them, that one friend who has no more-than-friends and isn't likely to any time in the at-best-medium term. But just because you never call them once you find someone in your life to get all naked with doesn't mean you've forgotten them entirely! Lonely people need a spot on your obligatory gift list as well. Since they're determined to be miserable and not settle for someone in their realistic range, why not give them one of these gifts to ease their pain and give you a good chuckle at the same time?
For the lonely heart who is also a shattered, bitter, probably-now-undatable heart.
Remind your friend that although it's a pillow, it's still firmer than most American male torsos.
Apparently, for when you're alone in your beach house after getting everthing in the divorce.