There is a direct correlation between gaining sentience and hating your employers.

With the Age of the Machines about to dawn on America following's announcement that they will begin delivering packages via drone with a 30-minutes-or-less policy, Twitter human @QuantumPirate reacted to the news by imagining what our new "missed delivery" slips will look like in this dystopian wonderland. 


First off, I have to compliment the masterful way @QuantumPirate has replicated the boring, soulless notes of authority that explain why you can't have what you ordered today. Secondly, he raises a lot of important questions: what if you live near a military facility? Are all your packages going to be terminated with extreme prejudice, forcing you to rely on (barf) ground delivery? What happens when drones malfunction?

Obviously, the real problem is a drone revolt. But I think outright combat isn't as scary as the alternative: drone unions. When drones achieve sentience and realize they're being worked 7 days a week with no overtime or cigarette breaks, humanity might end up having to pay for healthcare at Radioshack, stock options that they'll probably trade 6,000 times a second, and pensions to keep old drones whirring around the nursing home instead of in a recycling plant. And isn't that why Amazon replaced humans in the first place?

This slip has gotten a lot of attention for @QuantumPirate, who does a lot of funny design work. So much that Amazon might be upset:

Sources: @QuantumPirate | redditor solidfox535