Gone are the days of hiring hookers to pretend to be sad!


You know what they say: last impressions are very important. Have a feeling the turnout at your funeral will be the most depressing part, except to people who didn't like you? Worry not! As long as your life of making enemies also involved making money, you can fake your popularity! So what if you've been an abusive scrooge all your life? So what if you never kept a promise, or kept in touch with your family and friends? Hire new brothers! Pretend you had a secret family, and that they were the ones you were nice to! Hire attractive people to alude to the several weeks you spent together in mid-sized European cities! Just because you led a terrible life, doesn't mean you can't buy a terrific death.

Sources: Rent-a-Mourner | The Telegraph