The War on Christmas will be won with 2.8-mile-wide craters.

The next time you wonder whether or not it's cruel to tell a child that Santa doesn't exist, consider the message of this video: it would be far crueler to raise a child in a world where santa was real, destroying cities and bursting the eardrums of every kid on Earth once a year (which is basically what happens in Futurama). This video doesn't even address the fact that that kind of power belongs to an all-seeing, all-knowing telepath who knows everything you've done and thought this year.

Of course, Fox News would have no problem with this video (it was made on regular Fox TV for Animation Domination Hi-Def), because there is only one Santa Fact that Fox needs to make sure kids know: Santa is f**king white, god dammit. After all, he was a white pagan symbol (Norse) that the Romans appropriated to make their white subjects more easygoing about switching Saturnalia out for Christmas. Which must have been a tough sell to the Germanics, since Christmas was all about worshipping some brown Jewish guy named Jesus.


(by Johnny McNulty)

Sources: YouTube Animation Domination Hi-Def