In a world that is truly awful, it's important to take a moment and recognize those who at least attempted to make it just a little less awful:
1. George Clooney, who used his lifetime achievement award speech at The Golden Globes to remind everyone that love matters.
George Clooney received the Cecile B. DeMille award for lifetime achievement. In his acceptance speech he talked about his wife, Amal Alamuddin Clooney, and how hard it was to find "the one" after 53 years. Women everywhere swooned. The institution of marriage was given its proper reverence. It was all very touching if you're willing to ignore how shallow the rest of Hollywood culture is and how Clooney probably acted during his years as a famous single man. Also, there's a chance he could change his mind about everything tomorrow. Then what? Anyway, a big round of applause for everyone who attended the Golden Globes for distracting us, however briefly, from the fact that we will one day all die and become dust. The night was sort of nice, I guess.
2. The American Worker for helping the unemployment rate drop a whole percentage point in 2014.
The unemployment rate fell to a level it hasn't reached since 1999 thanks to the millions of hard-working Americans who who refused to give up even though job hunting is unmistakably one of the worst things people have to do. Over 252,000 jobs were added in December alone! Now, people all over America will get the chance to discover how undignified and boring working for a living feels. Sure, the economy is looking up, but who's really going to benefit from that? The poor?? HAHAHA! They won't. Nothing matters.