1. Flying spiders are a real thing now, not just the premise of the latest Michael Bay movie.

I quit. (via National Geographic)

According a study published Wednesday in Journal of the Royal Society Interface, large arachnids who live in the American tropics can glide with more agility than cats. They're known as "flatties," since their flat body helps them glide, probably into your face while you're sleeping. Scientists tested their abilities by dropping them from tall trees. Some could navigate their way to nearby trees after falling just 13 feet. In other words, run for your lives.

2. Lightning came down from the heavens and shat all over an airplane minding its own business.

Being in an airplane on the ground is also scary now. Lightning struck a Boeing 737 that was just chilling at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport on Tuesday. A guy inadvertently filmed it on his phone while making a weather report for his wife, and this still shot at the moment of impact will probably mean the makers of Xanax can buy a new yacht this year.