1. Society-Wrecking Gay Marriage Could Generate Half A Billion Dollars In State Revenue

Reports from a think tank at the UCLA School of Law show that legalized marriage equality could pull in more than $464 million in just one year for the eleven states analyzed in the study. That's a lot of money for state legislatures to turn their nose up at just for the opportunity to make two dudes feel bad about themselves.

2. Christian Singer Tricked Millions Of God-Fearing People Into Liking A Gay Person

British Christian singer-songwriter Vicky Beeching came out as a lesbian during an interview with the U.K. newspaper The Independent earlier this week. "What Jesus taught was a radical message of welcome and inclusion and love," explained the musician who is no doubt hemorrhaging fans as you read this.