1. Ferguson Police Officer Will Not Be Allowed To Threaten Lives Of Innocent Protesters For At Least A Few Days

Ferguson city officials say that the officer who was caught on camera threatening to kill protesters while pointing his loaded, semi-automatic rifle at them has been suspended from duty. Probably until he learns not to pull shit when you're so obviously going to get caught. Come on, man. Learn how to harass civilians like a professional!

2. Your Kid's Finger Paintings Might Show How Dumb He Is

A new study from King’s College London suggests that you might be able to get some insight into just how dim-witted your kid will grow up to be, based upon the crappy, half-considered scrawls that you stuck up on your refrigerator. Parents shouldn't put too much stock in their children's artistic abilities, however. "Drawing ability does not determine intelligence, there are countless factors, both genetic and environmental, which affect intelligence in later life," according to study author Dr. Rosalind Arden.  In other words, your kid can be good at drawing and still wind up profoundly dumb.