1. Did Assad's 11-Year-Old Kid Just Call You A Little Bitch, America?
Syrian president Bashar al-Assad's 11-year-old son, or somebody claiming to be him, took to Facebook the other day to tell America that it doesn't have the guts to launch a military attack against his old man's country. After goading the U.S. for failing to strike yet, Hafez Assad, who really seems to have a knack for cutting right to the bone of his target, wrote "America doesn’t have soldiers, what it has is some cowards with new technology who claim themselves liberators." Obama has yet to give word on whether or not we'll be attacking Syria after recess.
What if we just attack Syria with T-shirt cannons? Everybody loves T-shirt cannons.— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) August 30, 2013
2. British Parliament Votes Against Military Action, As If They're France
British Parliament, which in fact is not the French Parliament, voted in a French-like manner against taking military action in Syria, almost as if they were acting on behalf of the people of France. This comes as a major disappointment to David Cameron, who as Prime Minister was hoping to maintain a long-held tradition of U.K. heads of state doing whatever the U.S. asks of them.