1. Man Banned From Walmart For Taking Advantage Of Low Low Prices, And Also For Possibly Threatening Employee's Life Maybe
An Arizona man who had a habit of going to Walmart several times a day has been banned from store locations worldwide for no greater sin than taking advantage of the comapny's price matching policy too many times. Unless you consider threatening the life of a Walmart employee to be a greater sin, in which case maybe that was why he has been banned.
I’m at that age where I can’t tell the difference between the new Eminem song and a dude yelling at the Walmart customer service counter.— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) December 7, 2013
2. Pope Francis Named Time's Person Of The Year, Probably Due To God Pulling Some Strings
Wow! Talk about a great year for Jorge Mario Bergoglio! First the Argentinian Cardinal got himself appointed the Pope, and now's he's Time's 'Person of the Year.' If he gets to meet Bono then 2013 will probably end up being one of his top five.
Pope Francis is Time's "Person Of The Year?" Ha! I thought of painkiller infused vodka, where's my cover story?— Brendan Jaharis (@DrunkSocialite) December 11, 2013