1. Amazon Developing Flying Robots That Will Most Likely Be Used For Delivering Purchases And Not Fiery Death


Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos announced last night on CBS's 60 Minutes that his company is in the process of developing a global fleet of flying drones that will deliver website purchases to customers within 30 minutes. Bezos made no mention of the number of AGM-114 Hellfire missiles with which each robotic aircraft would be outfitted.

2. Americans Don't Trust Their No Good Shifty Neighbors Anymore

According to a new poll from the Associated Press, two-thirds of Americans do not trust three-thirds of Americans. You've got to wonder what's going on with that other one-third? What are they up to with their creepy trusting ways? We don't like it one bit.

3. Pizza Hut Wants To Hire Local Hero Who Was Fired For Refusing To Work At Pizza Hut On Thanksgiving

Pizza Hut has decided that it likes the cut of the one Indiana location manger's jib, after he was fired for refusing to work on Thanksgiving. The company has decided that it would like to re-hire him, but he is currently too busy being a hero to the working people to decide if he wants his old job back. "All my friends are telling me how cool it is and how proud they are. ‘You’re my hero’ and stuff you don’t expect to hear. No, I’m just some guy who told his boss ‘No’ and got burned. "