1. SpaghettiOs Over-Estimates Public's Desire For Peal Harbor Tribute From An Anthropomorphic Piece Of Pasta
SpaghettiOs drew the ire of thousands of people across the country, not through the taste of their canned pasta-like product as is usually the case, but via an embarrassingly miscalculated attempt to honor America by associating their cartoon mascot with one of the darkest days in U.S. history. And we're not talking about the day that SpaghettiOs went on the market.
BREAKING: SpaghettiOs apologizes and offers free Kamikaze shots to all surviving Pearl Harbor veterans.— Warren Holstein (@WarrenHolstein) December 7, 2013
2. United Express Crew Never Gets Around To Waking Sleeping Passenger Before Exiting And Locking Up Their Plane
A California man who fell asleep on a flight from Louisiana to Texas awoke to find himself locked inside the otherwise empty cabin. About a half hour after calling his girlfriend and asking her to get help, he was let out and allowed to continue his regularly-scheduled nightmarish travel experience.