1. Federal Judge Strikes Down Virginia's Ban On Gay Marriage As Defenders Of Traditional Marriage Redouble Efforts To Keep Country Bastion Of Intolerance
As Virginia becomes the latest state to find its ban against same-sex marriage being torn down by a federal judge, conservatives are beginning to fight back and hopefully turn the country into the intolerant place they always knew it could be. Sen. Ted Cruz has introduced legislation that would keep President Obama from "forcing gay marriage on all 50 states," and the state of Kansas is about to pass a segregation bill that makes it legal to discriminate against gay people. Come on, America. We can make this place unlivable again!
I believe in traditional marriage. I will accept land, coin, linens or up to five healthy goats for the chore of marrying your daughter.— Hank Thompson (@Hank_Thompson) December 12, 2012
2. Single People Buy Every Odd-Numbered Movie Theater Seat On Valentine's Day, Because Screw Those Happy Couples
Single people in China bought up every other seat for a Valentine's Day showing of a romantic date movie, just to force happy couples to be separated from one another during the show. That's the kind of brilliant, mean-spirited, outside-the-box thinking that's going to propel China to take over the world one day.