1. Rudy Giuliani Doesn't Understand How Apologies Or Words In General Are Supposed To Work

In an attempt to explain his recent super-dumb-sounding theory that President Barack Obama does not love America, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani suggested that people may have been confused by the bluntness of his language. "My blunt language suggesting that the president doesn't love America notwithstanding, I didn't intend to question President Obama's motives or the content of his heart," he wrote in a Wall Street Journal opinion piece. See, he wasn't questioning the content of Obama's heart, just the things that he loves with the contents of his heart. A small but important distinction.

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2. Do The Simpsons Live In Australia? (Spoiler Alert: No.)

Astronomer and pop-science writer Phil Plait claims to have deduced the Simpsons' hometown of Springfield is actually somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere, based upon the image of the moon in a recent episode. I, however, have deduced that the animators probably just got lazy and drew an American moon backwards, based upon two decades of context clues on the show.

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