1. Oklahoma Might Make All Marriage Illegal To Stop Gays From Getting Hitched, Thus Literally Destroying The Sanctity Of Marriage


Some genius Oklahoma state lawmakers think they may have figured out a way around allowing gay people to marry each other in their state, after a federal judge ruled that a ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional. No marriages for anybody!

2. Guy Who's Gonna Wake Up In A 5x5 Cell Beneath Microsoft's HQ Beats Bill Gates At Chess In 79 Seconds

Magnus Carlsen is supposedly the best chess player in the world. Unfortunately, he's likely going to be the best chess player under the world after he handed millionaire nerd Bill Gates his ass in a game played on Norwegian-Swedish television that ended so quickly the audience didn't even have time to get deathly bored.

3. SCOTUS Extends Religious Organizations' Right To Screw With Women