1. Intelligent Apes Begin Their Reign Of Conquest — 'Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes' On Track To Take $70 Million From Human Movie Goers

The well-reviewed Dawn of the Planet of the Apes rose to dominance over its human competition on Friday grossing approximately $28 million dollars and heading toward a likely $70 million by the end of the weekend.

2. Congress Gives $287 Billion Tax Cut To Businesses So They Can More Easily Buy Congress

House Republicans managed to pass a $287 billion tax cut for needy people on Friday. And since corporations are now officially considered people by the Supreme Court, and because all corporations need to make money, this isn't even technically a lie.

3. The World Has Run Out Of Ramones

The original members of the seminal punk rock group The Ramones are finally reuniting. Unfortunately, they're doing it in the saddest possible way. 65-year-old Erdelyi Tamas—better known as Tommy Ramone—died in his home in Queens, New York City yesterday. The drummer was the last surviving member of the band's original line-up.

4. Critics Adore New Indie Film That Makes Growing Up Seem Less Boring

Richard Linklater's new film Boyhood—filmed over the course of twelve years, following one boy from the age of 6 to 18—was released to a select few theaters this weekend and has received unanimously positive critical reviews thus far, despite its running time being only slightly shorter than its filming time. It currently has a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

5. Supermoon Gives Superwerewolves Their First Chance Of The Summer To Hunt

If yesterday's moon seemed a teeny tiny eenie weeinie bit bigger than normal last night, that's because it was the first of three "supermoons" that are expected this summer. Two more of these moons—which occur when the Earth's orbiting body is slightly closer, due to the elliptical nature of its orbit—should occur on August 10 and September 9.

(by Dennis DiClaudio)