5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - June 16, 2014
1. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin Are Now Apparently Consciously Un-Uncoupling
Just a few months after impressing the world with their enlightened and cosmopolitan decision to "consciously uncouple" from one another, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin appear to be in the process of re-fusing themselves back into the dinner-party-throwing power couple we've all come to love.
Gwyneth Paltrow says that mean words can hurt water's feelings, and in related news: run Chris Martin, run fast and don't ever look back
— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) June 5, 2014
2. John Oliver Interviews Stephen Hawking About A Bunch Of Stuff That None Of Us Can Understand
To kick off Last Week Tonight's new "People Who Think Good" series, John Oliver interviewed theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking. Though much of what Hawking has to say about "imaginary time" and "artificial intelligence" may fly over our heads, he delivers all his quips with an understated dryness that really shows off his comic timing.
When will people realize that Stephen Hawking is just a teen's remote-controlled prank that spiraled out of control?
— Erik Bergstrom (@Erik_Bergstrom) June 3, 2014
3. The World Finally Gets The 'Super Banana' It Needs, If Not The 'Super Banana' It Deserves
A team of Australian genetic engineers are in the process of developing a "super banana," capable of delivering large boosts of Vitamin A to its consumers, potentially saving hundreds of thousands of lives worldwide. It also should be able to contribute to the creation of some really phenomenal smoothies.
Why yes, that is a banana in my pocket. Almost forgot about that, thanks. My blood sugar always dips around this time in the afterno
— matt (@biorhythmist) June 11, 2014
4. Digital Company Forces Unpaid Interns Into Less-Awesome Version Of 'Hunger Games'
A Chicago-based digital media company has decided to stop dancing around the cutthroat reality of the job market and just start pitting applicants against one another in a Hunger Games-themed contest for employment survival. The red-clawed jobseeker who gets the most friends and family to follow the company on Twitter will win the right to be overworked for no pay for the entire summer. A dream come true!
Jesus's disciples were the first unpaid interns. There was no chance they'd ever get a lucrative Christing job.
— Frank Lesser (@sadmonsters) March 30, 2012
5. Deepak Chopra Offers $1 Million To Anyone Who Can Prove Something Or Other About Brains And Electricity
Tired of having his New Age interpretations of science criticized by skeptics just because they don't make any sense, spiritual guru Deepak Chopra has decided to issue a challenge to the naysayers of the world: Anybody who can explain consciousness—how "electricity going into the brain becomes the experience of a three dimensional world in space and time" —to Chopra's satisfaction gets a million dollars. However, if nobody can do it, it proves that Chopra was right about everything all the time forever.
Deepak Chopra has over 42 thousand tweets. We've been taking spiritual advice from someone with a crippling addiction to social media.
— Eric Ledgin (@iamledgin) December 7, 2013
(by Dennis DiClaudio)