1. The New Amazon Fire Smartphone Helps You Give Your Money To Amazon Faster Than Ever

The newly unveiled Amazon Fire Phone will feature specialized text, music and image recognition technology that should make it easier than ever for users to send all of their money to Jeff Bezos with just a few clicks of a virtual button.

2. Spiders All Over The World Can Hunt And Devour Fish — Are Humans Next?

Good news, everybody! Multiple species of spiders all over the world have been found quite capable of hunting, killing and devouring fish. That puts them one link closer to us on the food chain than usually assumed. And while it would be silly to worry that they could evolve to trap and eat New York City pedestrians by the year 2020, some time around 2025 seems slightly more likely.